"We are storytellers first and foremost - filmmakers second."

"We are merely human beings trying to survive on this Earth and storytelling is an essential tool that allows us to share the experiences of other human beings. It has been this way long before stories were written down, before there was writing, even before there was language. It is through our stories that we establish and maintain our connections with the rest of humanity. So, when we go to a movie, we don't go to 'see a movie'. We go to immerse ourselves in the personal journeys of other individuals. We go to experience a movie."

"Films are forced into existence. And the primary fuel that drives the process is the passion and vision of the director. With our passion, films get made."

By Mark Travis from his new book: Directing Feature Films: The Creative Collaboration Between Director, Writers and Actors

I just came back from Batangas. I was there on an overnight vacation with my baby, friends, and whoevers... We were there with the daughter of a congressman, who's driving speed is unbelievable. I guess having a number 8 plate number gave her the "right" to drive at speeds exceeding 180km/hr.

The lifestyle of the rich and the famous are truly fascinating. We went to Tagaytay to have some booze, then went to stay over their place in Batangas where their poultry house is situated. The view on our way home was magnificent, giving us a glimpse of the nearby mountains.

Oh well, I saw Taal Volcano again... Next weekend, I'm off to Puerto Galera with my team! Next week will be a busy week for me, having to present a database prototype for the company, and some other stuff... But the weekend nevertheless will be something to look forward to .

:)

I don't like people texting me. Especially those I don't know. It drains energy on my battery which could be used on a different thing. No wonder the consumption of power / population here in our country is far greater than other Asian countries. It's bad for the environment. We don't cherish what we still abundantly have.

But last night was one of those interesting moments wherein I actually was curious of who was texting me.. I thought it was a stalker or someone... hehe.. here are some of the text messages he sent.. I omitted some parts of those I sent..

x: I like it, when i see your frustrations shown on your face, it makes you very vulnerable. But still after all these years, you still suffering from it.
me: who's this?
x: A torn page in your diary
me: So, can I put it back?
x: Is that a question? How could you put back a torn page. You can't. And if you did it's not the same page in it's original state. It's Heraclitus 101.
me: ...
x: The Wanderer and the shadow - talking about a person still searching for something but can't leave his past behind. Frustrating? Ha! Ha! Ha! You're really a mortal!
me: ...
x: Heard that you can't sleep last night? Still thinking? You realize this so called existentialist life is so cruel? Read one of your fave book "myth of sisyphus" and you wonder why the author died of car accident without able to live his life to the fullest. After all these years, you still have the angst of a searcher. Maybe you are not in the...
me: So, how did you get my number?
x: It's not important how I got your number. What's important is that I know what's on your mind. A profiler? Am not. Have read Ann Rule's about Ted Bundy. It's called stranger beside me.
me: Introduce yourself to me then.
x: You mean introduce myself? Oh comeon, you know me. Why don't we talk more about you. You're now a team leader, with bigger responsibility. Can you handle the heat so bad that won't crack?
me: ...
x: Ha! Ha! Ha! I've got you there! As expected, you're going to ask that. But I'm not. Just testing my persuasion skill :-) this is going to be fun. My mind against your mind.
x: By the way, Billie Holiday is the better singer compared to Ella Fitzgerald. What do you think? Or you could use kalsada.com to be a website for freethinkers like us?
me: where did I know you?
x: 1) You know me 2) I'm illiterate 3) I'm normal 4) loves philosophy, psycho, literature, advertising, computer, religion, history, and everything under the sun 5) I'm contented
me: ...
x: Got my identity? By the way, you can also ask those hard questions that are lingering on your mind. You know what, your pic on the site reminds me of Franz Kafka.
me: You got a name? Are you still studying?
x: Takes time really to read previous message, isn't it? Still studying life. As I have told you, you know me very well. So no need to ask me. :-x
me: ...
x: Does it matter to you? Just consider me as your inner voice who will guide you through the travails of life. You got everything, but still you're not satisfied.
me: ...
x: See what I mean? Have you seen "groundhog day", Life's like that, awake eat sleep awake eat sleep and so on. What then, is the meaning of life? What's the purpose?
me: How will I be able to trust you?
x: That's right. You can't trust someone you don't know. It's a defense mechanism. Very human nature! But you be surprised if you found out who I am. A speck of dust in your eyes.
me: So why are you doing this?
x: Doing what? Just impressed that after all these years you became a more refine, articulate, well mannered Patrick Chua. At least, you are not just one of the unknown.
me: ...
x: Sometimes, the student do forget their teacher. And it would take some event for them to realize that what they learn is not enough. Humility is a virtue :-x
me: ...
x: "On the farther side of the street" my identity is written on the bottom of this message. Good Luck!

Hmm.. interesting? hehe.. I now know who he is.. After a lot of emotional and mental brain draining, he finally told me who he was! (With a lot of negative comments nevertheless) hehe... Someone I knew way before my world started to be conscious. He's my friend and mentor... haha.. I still wasn't able to surpass my master. ;) I wonder what he does right now.. Well, he maybe having a meeting with Kofi Anan right now.

At sunrise everything is luminous, but not clear. It is often the same with those we live with and love and should know: they elude us. Yet you can love completely without complete understanding.

-Norman Maclean

I received an email tonight. One of my agent got promoted to Quality Evaluator. I'm happy and I feel fulfilled. I feel I didn't raise a team of failures after all. Success after all, depends on how my team grows, how I can develop them to become future leaders. There is for me, no greater achievement than knowing that I have been a part of someone's growth.

I recently purchased kalsada.com... still have no idea of what to do with it though. I just found the name catchy! hmm.. trying to think of doing either a personals site, or an events site.. am I too literal?

At some thoughts one stands perplexed—especially at the sight of men’s sin—and wonders whether one should use force or humble love. Always decide to use humble love. If you resolve on that, once and for all, you may subdue the whole world. Loving humility is marvelously strong, the strongest of all things, and there is nothing else like it.

Every day and every hour, every minute, walk around yourself and watch yourself, and see that your image is a seemly one. If you pass by a little child, and pass by spitefully, with ugly words or wrathful heart, you may not notice the child, but he will see you, and your image, unseemly and ignoble, may remain in his defenseless heart. You may not know it, but you may have sown an evil seed in him, and it may grow, all because you were not careful before the child, because you did not foster in yourself an active, benevolent love.

Brothers, love is a teacher, but one must know how to acquire it, for it is hard to acquire; it is dearly bought; it is won by slow, long labor. We must love not only occasionally, or for a moment, but for ever. Everyone, even the wicked can love occasionally...
--Fyodor Dostoevsky

Whew.. finally, I'm back to work again. This time, I'll be working 8pm - 5am. I'll be online in the YM all that time. Tonight, my team saw me after a long 5 day leave of absence. They were happy to see me back and I miss them badly. Now, I have to really work hard since there'll be no excuses... I had my time for recharging myself... :) My job requires me to be not only responsible for my team.. but I feel that I am somewhat responsible for their families too. Most of those people I'm handling right now has families at home, and this job is their bread and butter. I have to help them succeed in whatever endeavor they choose. And being younger than most of them, makes it a challenge for me. My personal goal is to have them reach their potentials and bring out the best in them! At work, there is just no room for failure (though my personal life has been through the worst). They have always believed in me... and I won't let my people down.

Prior to work, I had a date this morning with someone I'm beginning to like.. and beginning to fall for. The person was kind and sweeet.. makes you feel loved.. though sometimes unappreciative (I guess). Well, we'll see what happens.... I have been dating much for the past few months, but haven't fallen for someone yet, since "r" and I broke up. Hope this will be different. My friends always tell me that I have my way of making someone feel special. I hope this perosn feels that way...

Can't seem to write. I'll try to write a letter later when I get home. I'm already sleepy... :o

Taurus

Your positive traits:
You tend to stick with relationships - through the good and the bad.
You are a great listener and tend to give valuable advice.
Cautious and careful, you never jump in recklessly... saving yourself from heartbreak.

Your negative traits:
Money is very important to you, so much so that it's a cause of arguments in relationships.
If your lover isn't loyal or attentive enough to you, your eyes start to wander...
You tend to keep things inside - so your partner may not know when or why you're upset.

Your ideal partner:
Is stable, serious, and ready to be committed to you.
Is successful and able to provide you with the lifestyle you crave.
A true romantic, who is willing to express their desire for your heart.

Your dating style:
Comfortable and traditional.
You'd love to have a nice meal at a cozy restaurant.

Your seduction style:
Love comes first for you before you'd even think of intimacy.

Traditional:
you're not a cold fish - but you're not into kink either.
Pleasing... you always make sure that your partner is having a good time.

Tips for the future:
Be willing to change your mind.
Who you think is the love of your life may be very wrong for you.
Try listening to your mate. While your stubborn streak is hard to break, sometimes your partner knows best.
Ligthen up! The first months of a relationship should be about fun, not intentions.

-blogthings

There was a boy
A very strange enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far, very far
Over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day
A magic day he passed my way
And while we spoke of many things
Fools and kings
This he said to me
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"

-moulin rouge

The city of smiles never fails to amuse me... I have been with one of the hospitable people in a serene environment. I'm back from Bacolod now ending two days of vacation. Time to leave the fantasy world and face reality again. I'll be back there few weeks from now though. I attended a wedding there in Bacolod. Here's how it went...

We arrived at the cathedral at 3:15 P.M. The mass started at four o'clock as scheduled.

I observed my cousin had been crying -- with tears of joy, of course. Few minutes from now he and his girlfriend will take vows to be together until death.

Just like how every wedding mass should end, the priest shall say "you may now kiss the bride." After doing their vows, the newly wed partners kissed each other. Let me start the description of the food reception with great foods. The resort where the reception was held was okay. I don't know what to call those foods but I knew how to eat it all. I only recognized the "lechon" and the salad. They offered a wine for the toast for the newly weds.

They showed a video of how the newly weds knew each other. Interestingly, they were lovers since highschool. Separated by college life, they had the chance of being together again after graduation. After all the happiness and heartbreaks they had, they are here now treating us as they enjoy the promise of taking care of each other for the rest of their lives.

And back we went from the resort as I finish off my final thoughts for the day.

It's official. I'm seeking someone and so far, Nemo seems easier to find. Someone once told me, there's so many people.. so little time. Was it his fart talking? Was he even talking to me? If that is true... where are they? Are they in a completely different planet? Are they obsolete? I'm definitely sure of one thing though... They're obviously not going straight. Or are they?

In a world so big as this, how do you find "the one"? Another person told me to just don't go looking, not to worry and your prince will come along... seriously i'm still hoping.. :(

"I know it's a cornball thing but LOVE is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't live."
--Anthony Hopkins

I'm here in Bacolod right now. My flight this morning was delayed. I was supposed to leave at 10am but unfortunately, due to some "turbulence", my flight left at 11am instead.

Upon arrival, my cousin fetch me from the airport. It was nice to be home again. Haven't been to this place for the longest time. Yet, I feel as if nothing much have changed. My relatives here are just getting bigger and bigger. hehe... I like life here very much. Aside from serenity, people here value honor above anything else. Wonder how it feels to be living in the province again.

We had lunch at my aunt's place.. lots of good food! All the crabs, and the chicken (Bacolod Chicken!!!), and the fishes.. I finished a lot for lunch. After the sumptous meal, I went to meet my dentist. That was partly why I was here. Oh well, it was one of the most painful thing I've ever experienced. Putting the drill to my teeth.. whew... I was afraid of hurt.. but I had to have my tooth undergo root canal.. and another dental appointment tomorrow. Had to come back since it was not yet finish.

Same thing with love I guess.. no matter how much we know how it will hurt, we still love, for we believe that the rewards are far greater than the risks.

Ok... so i just had dinner and I'm here alone at the guest room of my aunt's place typing my final thoughts on my laptop before I end my day..

My cousin all wanted me to extend. Told them I moved my flight early to the first flight this tuesday. They said today's my acquaintance party, and tomorrow will be my farewell party then. hehe... Hopefully, I get to extend my vacation time when I don't feel stressed out. I'm so excited to go back to Manila. I'll be meeting someone on Tuesday night. ;)

"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill..."

It's funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love while at the back of our mind, we truly know that the person we truly love will always be an exception..

If you want to identify me,
ask me not where I live,
or what I like to eat, or
how I comb my hair;
but ask me what I am living for,
in detail, and ask me
what I think is keeping me
from living fully for
the thing I want to live for.
- Thomas Merton

sometimes, it's not correct to compare activity with productivity...

Having a comeback to write on a journal is not easy. Especially, if you're stuck on times you choose not to be in.

I admit, there are more things that can make me happy. How many? Numbers could overwhelm those bad moments that make me sad. But unfortunately for me, it was never a numbers game. There are just these things that were few but I value much. But the picture is, they're on a down turn.

I'm down. Because of the things that are few, or should I see it as just one, but I value much.

we can never see past beyond choices we have not yet made, same thing with things we do not understand.

I want you to know one thing
You know how this is
If I look at the crystal moon
At the red branch of the slow autumn at my window
If I touch near the fire the impalpable ash
Or the wrinkled body of the log
Everything carries me to you
As if everything that exists
Aromas
Light
Metals
Were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours
That wait for me

Well now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad
The wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart
Where I have roots
Remember
That on that day
At that hour
I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land

But
If each day
Each hour
You feel that you are destined for me
With implacable sweetness
If each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me
Ahh my love
Ahh my own
In me all that fire is repeated
In me nothing is extinguished or forgotten
My love feeds on your love beloved
And as long as you live
It will be in your arms without leaving mine

--Pablo Neruda

When I was young, I expected people to give me more than they could - continuous friendship, permanent emotion. Now I have learned to expect less of them than they can give - a silent companionship. And their emotions, their friendship, and noble gestures keep their full miraculous value in my eyes; wholly the fruit of grace.